Busy Life.

My life is full of SCHOOL and WORK.

School; Monday - Thursday.

Work at Tap; Monday and Wednesday nights. Sometimes Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Work at Saks; Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Free time; Homework

Sometimes I don't even feel like going out because I'm so drained from school and work that I just want to sleep. I like being busy though... as much as I complain about how tired I am, at least I get paid and I'm not just sitting my ass around doing nothing. I'm able to buy things that I want, save up money, and pay for my car and disneyland pass hehe =) Now I'm hoping I get to keep my job at Saks! ohhh I hope I hope!

Daaaaamn talk about responsibilities, wheeeewwww! I just gotta hang in there!

Q&...A??

I hate being confused.

I hate not knowing.

I hate being unsure.

I hate how I don't have an exact answer.

I hate how I say I really don't know.

I hate how I don't know.

I hate having to question things.

I hate questioning myself.

I hate questioning other people.

I hate questioning the whole situation.

Why this and why that?!?

Why is it that, I'm having such a hard time with this.

People Say I Move Funny.

I'm thankful to be a part of BK's project for Maxt Out =] Sucks that I'm not able to do CG this year, but at least I'm st

ill dancing somehow.. at least for now. But anyways, we had a photoshoot last Saturday! pretty darn tootin' funnn hehe!

Nick and Casey picked me up aroung 12ish and headed to Spectrum! I wasn't real

ly planning on buying anything, but daaaaaaaaamn.. I love the fact that I came up.. woo for an Obey leather jacket, freakin on sale at Metropark =] loves it! I'm supposed to be saving up, but I knew that if I left the store empty handed I would fee

l guilty and plus, I couldn't let go of the jacket haha! Ate chipotle for lunch mmmm! its 220am and I'm craving it right now -_- Off to Santa Ana for our photoshoot, pretty scary but I mean the location was nice. PICTURES PICTURES PICTURES. After the

photoshoot ate wingstop with Kimmy Nick and Casey.. ohh lemon pepper, so yuummmmy! then off to practice!

Gotta take a shit Nick??

Luz and I are twinsieees =]
Random ass guy passed by and straight up said to Jon "NIgga ya'll should've won!" since he's on Kaba. Pretty funny.. it's one of those "You should've been there" type.
So Qboi.. which one is it?? The girlfriend or the cousin?? I think the cousin! HAHAH, the way you put your hand on his thigh.
This one is my favorite!

RAWR

I'm stoked for practices and especially MAXT OUT on NOVEMBER 1st! COOOOOOOOOOOOOME move funny with us!

TDB Installs 100909.

Francis Maranan asked me to be his date for TDB installs niggaaa! It was full of fun shit =] My morning was full of errands and I had to meet up with a friend of mine to straighten things out that's been buggin her. Went home and got ready. I honestly thought I was running late, but it was these two guys that were hella laggin! They picked me up and headed to the District mall, Ferd got his fiited hats, while Francis got his purple vans. Matching much? I was intrigued by their conversation their "shopping day" for this event on the way back to the car, I thought it was pretty funny and cuuuute! They were worrying more than I was about their outfits and how they look LOL! They're such girls. Ferd dropped Francis and I at his apt and picked up Stephanie. Our car was craaaaaacken btw, you don't need 31349139084 people in the car to have fun! Had our pre-game in the car, knowing my light weight ass, I was hella buzzed before we even walked in the hall.

Walked in and saw my girl, Stina =] wspppppppp! She was my partner in crime the whole night! hahahah drinking, eating, stoggin, laughing, and full of random ass shit! Mhmmmmmmmm OUR TABLE WAS BOMB.

Hella missed this girl!! Last time I saw her was at Patrick's party which was like last year! GET ON MY LEVEL GIRL!

Helloooo to a fun chill bomb ass date, Francis Maranan! Thanks for taking me =]

Everytime I look at this picture it makes me happy, just cause of Stina and the fact that I look tall! haha

Gay guys = Francis, Enriqueleaaaaaaaak, and Nate

I honestly did not expect seeing Jayda and Julie! I tripped the fck out when I saw them.. its been 4 years! WESTERN GIRLS =]

Whatchaaaa know about us bomb ass girls though?! =] I love my girls Stina and Krystal!! They made my night

AND more bommmmmmmmbb ass girls! Can't forget about the mirror pictures!
I cant remember how many times we went back and forth to the bathroom! Especially me and Stina =] hah!
"can you girls' dresses get any shorter?!" YES IT CAN!

and look what we found in the sink!!! a braaaaa! Stina, being the drunk ass girl.. she still washed her hand in that sink ... poor bra got wet! HAH!

FUN night =]
Jena: Who's best fcking daaaaate nigga?!?!

Francis: Jena Taruc!

Ferd&E-man: Woooo!

Horoscope.

"Mercury the Communicator is your ruling planet, so the ending of its retrograde phase is important news for you. If you have been blocked in your forward progress, even by members of your own family, things should begin to loosen up today and will continue to change over the days ahead. Consider the obstacles you've faced these past few weeks and set your intentions today to blast through the resistance and toward your goals."

Twittascope's been on point.. So I hope it stays like this for me for awhile because two weeks ago and before that I was going through shit and lately, things have been pretty chill with me. My mom's been chill and we've been getting along lately. Instead of the whole "NO MORE DANCING" I'm able to go to workshops and I'm on BK's project for Maxt out and I'm so happy about it! I'm looking forward to go to TDB's installs this friday then practice for BK's aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnndd CG Auditions.. I'm bummed out I won't be trying out this year.. but family will always be family =] I LOVE CG UG FAM and I'll be there supporting!

Thank you God for answering my prayers.

Are You Down?

It'll hit me randomly. Its not supposed to be like this.. I'm confused. I don't even know if I should be in the first place.

I tell myself no, but then I can't help it. I'm trying not to, but it doesn't work all the time... -_- ughhhh.

I don't like feeling this way. I'm probably just being stupid... who am I kidding to even think.. asdfghjkl;

Yeah.. when I think about it, it seems ridiculous. But I don't know why I'm feeling like this..

Stop. Stop. Stop??? I don't know.

=/..

Maybe, Maybe Not.

Its been hectic for me lately with work, school, family, friends, and other things that's been on my mind. I've been wanting a break from everything and I actually felt that last night. Its been awhile since I've gone to the lake at 2 in the morning. Thanks to a friend of mine who actually drove to Irvine and forced me to go even though I was so scared -_- lol, but I needed it.

There are some things in life that are unexpected but those ones are always the exciting cute fun shit.

So just a little thought.. maybe I should just stop before I start liking it a little more =/

Lately.

I haven't been able to blog lately. I miss writing here though. I've been pretty busy and occupied with work and especially school. I'm not about to slack off -_- heh. I've been feeling exhausted and tired. I felt like passing out today while walking to my car after my second class. Then had lunch with Brian. I'm so glad things are okay between us now =] It felt good just telling him all the things he's done wrong to me, and he admitted his faults. I've been keeping everything inside and finally I was able to let it out and had the courage to let him know whats up It took time for me to be able to actually talk to him. But we're on good terms, after all we've known each other since 2006 and we've been friends since then. I hope we can keep our friendship this way. Right after I went home and then I took a nap for a few hours and then I went to work. Got home and I was filled with homework. blaaaaaaaaaaaah!

School's been chill. I love meeting new people. I like being busy. Work is tiring but I need money to pay for my car. I miss dancing =/ I miss performing. My mom has her mood swings. I love my friends... and blah blah blah!

Why even bother.

Who am I kidding?! I'm just being silly.

Ridiculous.

Oh well.

There's always a first time in everything.

MY FIRST TIME teaching! Wow. I actually pulled through.

Colette came in at work and asked if I wanted to collab with her and I agreed without even thinking! hahah I'm glad I did because it was fun and a great experience. It felt soooooo damn fcking good dancing earlier, like orgasm all over my body.

first 2 8 counts - Colette [was it really worth it]

second 2 8 counts - Jena [I hope you know that]

third 2 8 counts - Colette [you're gonna see me]

fourth 2 8 counts - Jena [I promise that]

YAY!!!

My escape. I miss this so much..

I want to keep dancing.

Breathe. Stretch. Shake. Let It Go.

I can't wait to go here tomorrow. Its so pretty and relaxing =]

I need this since I've been thinking about a lot of things.

Survey.

What's a fact about the last person who had their arms around you?
he's berrrrryyyyy panny!

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
forever 21 yeee

Why were you last grounded?
because of my car accident.

Do you know anyone that smokes weed?
yep

Do your parents force you to go to church or let you make the decision?
they don't have to force me. I go anyways because I love my church =] except, when I'm dead tired and I can't even open my eyes hehe

When it comes to the opposite sex, what's your "type"?
as long as this guy makes me laugh, can carry a conversation, who's down to earth, and has a cute smile then we're good.

Where is the furthest place you've traveled?
philippines

How long does it take you to shower?
about 15-20

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
I actually don't know right now...

What was for dinner last night?
had some ravioli

Does your ex miss you?
I don't know go ask him.

Does anyone love you?
aww yes =]

How has the week been?
interesting. alright. chill. tiring. fun.

Do you curse in front of your parents?
haha sometimes!

Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
somewhat

What girl can you tell everything to?
Anna and Nat

When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
It depends.

Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms?
yeah

Does anyone hate you?
I don't know.

What did you do today?
work. chilled at home with Jesse and Harry. UG Auditions. chilled.

Does the person you like, like you back?
I don't like anyone, maybe a crush.. but I don't think so.

Have you chewed gum after someone else already has?
omg yeah hahahahah

Have you ever seen your best friend cry?
of course.

Who was the last person to tell you they love you?
Gina Hong

Did anything surprising happen today?
yee

Whose house did you last go to?
Nate's house

Did you go shopping at all today?
nope. I need to stop shopping!

What's the last thing you cooked?
spam? lol

Is your birthday in a winter month?
summer baby =]

Last purchase made?
fries for my brothaaa

Who was the last person you talked to through Myspace message?
too lazy to check

What time are you going to bed tonight?
wow I'm hoping before 5am!

What song are you currently listening to?
Last Sip

How do you know when a friend becomes a best friend?
I could do and say anything infront of them and when I know I can fully trust him/her.

What exactly are you wearing right now?
shorts, tank top

Are you wearing any jewelry?
rings, necklace

Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
Jesse Harry Josh

Last person that made you laugh?
Bam

Did you dance today?

Yes =] Made my day

What does your hair look like right now?
up and its more on my left side hahahah

What do you smell like?
curves lotion mmmmmmmmmmmmmm! so so so good.

When was the last time you saw the person you like?
!!!! this survey sucks dick. hahaha <-- yeah I fcking agree with Anna!!!

Was today better than yesterday?
yes and no

What is today's date?
14

What's the last CD you played in your car?
I don't have any CDs in my car boooooo. I use my ipod.

Is there a DVD in your DVD player?
The Little Rascals =]

Are you using a desktop or laptop?
lappy

Who was the last person that called you?
Bam

Are you male or female?
female

How often do you listen to music?
Like everyday! hah

Random.

I am up like always. I've been sleeping hella late lately because my sleeping pattern is all fcked up and there are times when I just feel restless. I don't know how its going to be when school starts for me =/ I hate waking up early. Good luck to me.

I love laying on my comfy bed, soft blanket and pillows, windows open because I like the cool breeze at night. Itunes. Phone next to me because I get random txts/calls. I enjoy late night conversations before I go to bed and it somewhat helps me fall asleep. I like the company.

I'm craving some rocky road ice cream right now, but I'm way too lazy to get up and get some.

I've been thinking about drawing lately. I miss it.. especially when I walk in my room and I look at my wall, full of pictures, photographies, and art. Maybe I should.

One thing I hate about night time is that, I have way too much time alone that I think about so much things. Everything's going by so fast, its unbelievable. Time, please slow down.. even just for a bit.

I want to go to the lake, its relaxing and its just really nice.. hopefully one of these days this week.

I'm falling asleep.. I guess I won't be seeing the meteor shower tonight/morning. Wow this is such a random blog.

Btw, I can't believe it. So cute though =p

uh oh.. Got Caught.

August 3.
The day/night of CG Banquet. I got two signs.. should've seen it coming! But it was so unexpected. It was too soon, I thought I'd be able to hide it for a few more months.

1.)Around afternoonish I was getting ready for the banquet and out of nowhere, my dad came home.. earlier than usual. Thank God I was sitting down and I was able to hide it. I had to wait for him to go in his room for me to be able to run in my room and grab my cardigan.

2.)I haven't seen Toby in awhile ever since he made TM. I didn't know that he was going to stop by at CG banquet. I was having a conversation with Gina and he came and tapped my left back.

"When did you get this?!"

"February of this year and my other one was in August of last year."

"That's really nice! What did you parents say?"

"Oh they don't know, I've been hiding it ever since! My mom's gonna be so pissed if she finds out! Thank God she hasn't though."

I got a call in the middle of Kirk's speech, FCK it was my mom. She asked if I have a tattoo and I denied it, not once but 3 times. She also found out about my other one, I denied it again. But ehh eventually, I thought.. fck it I can't lie anymore so I said.. YES MOM. She flipped a bitch over the phone and started yelling at me. I walked out of the room and started crying =[ lol! What a baby. But I was just so scared. I went up to Nat and told her, since I know she knows how to comfort me and make me feel better. I'm right, her talking and calming me down helped a lot. Tad came out to check up on us and the whole time they were just hugging and comforting me. THANK YOU. They took me home and told me that if my mom does anything to me that they'll be outside waiting and will be willing to take me to their place for the night. I was praying the whole ! I didn't see it coming or for this to happen that night.

Walked in and my mom was waiting for me. She told me to sit next to her. She started yelling and lecturing me about my tat. She started asking questions. She also saw pictures of Anna smoking.. which she didn't like. She just kept going and going. She saw Nat and Tad outside, got even more scared because I thought she'd be pissed that they were outside. But thank God, once again.. she said sorry for having to leave the banquet early to take me home and asked them to come in. Nat told my mom that they just wanted to make sure that I'm okay. From there Nat told my mom about the stuff that I told her when I first got my tat. She told my mom how much my family means to me, she also told her that I'm a good person, how I learn from my mistakes, that I'm understanding and have a good heart, and how I'm mature for my age. Nat put in good words, which got me thinking "Wow this is how Nat sees me" It was really nice to hear and it made me tear up. She had so much to say about me. Thank you Nat, and thank you Tad for being there. This talk not only made my mom accept my decision about getting a tattoo but we were also able to clear some things between us.

Ahhh its so nice not having to hide my tattoo! I like the fact that I could go home,not having to wear T-shirts on a hot weather, or having to carry a sweater or a cardigan! I could go naked in my house for all I care! HAHA.

Prayers do work, I told you.

A.M.- P.M.

August 4.

I didn't sleep just cus something happened the night before, which was the night of CG Banquet. I was awake and had a nice conversation with someone on the phone till let's say about 4ish. Got ready around 5am and headed to Jesse's house. It was seriously a good morning, even though I didn't get enough sleep. Jesse and I headed to Hawks Point to kill time and to just relax and enjoy the view. We were pretty hyper at 5 in the morning! Hawks Point was really nice sight to see.. Now I wanna see the view at night.

After Hawks Point, I called Emie and asked if she would want to come eat breakfast with us at Denny's! I love my best friends =] since 7th grade yee! Funny thing is, they're not even that close to each other hahaha! Oh well as long as these two get along. Breakfast with them was fun and full of laughter.. like always.

We decided to just kick it at Emie's before we leave for the Airport and before her work! Just watched and chilled. Then off to our separate ways. Emie went to work while Jesse and I decided to stop by Starbucks to get some caffeine in our system. Well what the hell do you know, it worked! On the way to LAX we were straight up laughing the whole time, I mean the WHOLEEE TIME. Singing to some crazy ass filipino songs and dancing in the car to making some weird ugly nastehhhhh noises just to keep each other awake! It was a mission for us to find gate #5.. so dumb because we missed the huge ass sign that says Gate 5 Northwestern! We walked around for a good hour and a half.. looking for my cousin Lucyl, Tita Luz, and my Lola. But eventually we did. On the way home, I gave up and knocked out! I couldn't take it anymore. Poor Jesse LOL!

Thank you for going with me beshhhpren!

Common Ground Banquet 09

I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to attend our CG Banquet, but luckily things worked out fine and was able to attend. Got ready and I waited for Leo to pick me up. We chilled and talked to kill time before the banquet and mannnnn, there has been a lot of stuff going on. Which tells me that we've been too busy to hang out or even have a phone conversation.. not even a text. Leo's been one of my closest guy friend ever since UG started, damn 2007. I remember how we would always talk about joining CG after UG. How much we wanted to improve and how much passion we have for dance. Lucky him, he's enjoying it. I wish I could too..but things aren't always the same for everyone. I have it the hard way. It was even hard for me to stay on UG back then, but since I love my dance family and dancing, of course I didn't give up. Except this time around, its harder.. my mom's been on my case. I always pray for this. Dance. Something that I actually enjoy, that makes me happy, that makes everything better for me. Oh well.. who knows, but as for now I gotta listen and concentrate on school. Blah.

We got to the venue, dang Jho did a great job =] Yay for Vegas Theme.
Amazing artist you can say. I wanted to keep this... but unfotunately stuff came up and I spent the whole time crying and worrying outside of the hotel that night.
We were the first few people that came. CG is known as laggers! Haha. Doors open at 545, Dinner served at 600, and from there activities and what not. People didn't start showing up around almost 7 -_- wow right?!
Wooo I'm as tall as Caesar's Palace and Paris =] Gosh, I felt better about my height haha!

Andy. Another close guy friend of mine ever since UG started as well. UG First Gen =] He's always been there for me and lets me know that I can always run to him.

OH Ben! One of my favorite CG heads when I was on UG, I remember we'd have breaking sessions hahahah! Because of this guy I got better with my footworks and what not. SNAPS is the name of the game, the name of the game is called snaps.. are you ready? =] He never failed to make me laugh. Genie, my 09 newbie baby! I love her =] She's an amazing, sweet, funny, confident girl.

My babehgirl Mel! Thanks for picking a nice place for our banquet =] We spent our time sitting infront of the door and making sure that everyone gets a name plate for their table. Good stuff with this girl. One of my mains.

Mmmm my fave Jenny! Bad Influence Mama =] She's one of my few favorites, thats right. Trish, my other Bad Influence Mama. B.I. Family.. we're missing Kim[cg], Tiffany, Dmug, Nick, and Chris[ug]

Yep, pretty mamas thats for sure.

We had two different skit groups, but that failed.. so a few people that were able to meet up just made their own video skit making fun of people. I was literally crying because I couldn't stop laughing! AHHHHHH LOL. Pretty much, Common Ground is full of fun shit..that is all.

Awards, hmm I got the "Most likely to get tackled by Andy" Award. Yeah -_- because of our Army set for Body Rock. He fell on top of me -_-OUCHHHHH.

I love spending time with CG. I love everything about CG. I love my family =] Thank you.

Everyone had a good time and so did I!!!!!!

Except for one part..=/

You can buy your own cigarettes now!

My sister's birthday =] Woke up around 8am to get ready and what not. We planned on leavin by 930am but that failed. Anna came to my house and then we waited for Nick and Casey. Chilled then left right when Kareem came. Casey drove, and then off to Disneyland we go! Wee =] I love my disneyland pass! haha. Like always Anna and I are hyper and went crazy in the car =] hehe! Lines, lines, and full of lines. I hate waiting in line! hah. For Anna's birthday we decided to get her a Disneyland pass wooooo! Welcome to the Dland pass crew sistahgirl!

First ride, Star Tours.."Anna's favorite ride" umm.. I'm not a big fan cus it gives me a headache right after! yiiikes

Off to Matterhorn, long ass mo'fckin line though and on top of that it was hotttt. Talk about sweating balls.

We left around 430ish, saw Rino from Beat Freaks on the way out. Ah she's a hottie! Off to Hokkaido. Daaaaaaaamn, bomb ass food! I don't like buffets =/ just because I get full right after one plate. Booooo! Met up with everyone there. The server sucks ass from a straw! We were supposed to surprise Anna with a yummy birthday cake.. but she just ruined it.

server: umm.. here's your cake. what do i do with it?

anna: that's not ours!

She didn't even put the candles on it! Whatta B word.

We left Hokkaido, ran some errands and headed to Casey's apartment for our pre-game! Talk about one shot wonder! hehe =] I started feeling it after 2 shots hahaha! Out of everyone I was the one sitting down on the couch, asian glow and with a big ass smile on my face. But oh well, took some more shots with everyone! Getting ready is always fun with the girls. Anna was buzzin and came out of the room showing her butt cheeks, what a sight to see haha!

Yay for Stephy! I missed this girl.

Rode with Kimmy, Nat, and Tad! Oh man, what a ride. Off to Rage Night Club! Buzzed. Red. Hyper. Fun. Laughs. Random. I even started jerking in the car -_- and the whole time they were just laughing at me because of how I was acting haha oh well, just having fun =] We stopped at some gas station on the way because everyone.. I mean everyone needed to go pee. Piece of advice.. never ever go pee at a gas station's restroom. Nastehhh.

Parking was a beeeotch. We came across Dicks street. Interesting haha! They would have Dicks street around a gay club. We arrived and lucky Anna, she got a wrist band, along with Jon, Tad, and Nat. But that didn't stop the rest of us from drinking =] I wished I was 21 that night but thanks to Jon and Tad. Adios. Drunk. Damn that shit was good.

They played good songs woo! We thought Jamie and Francis would feel awkward the whole time at the club, but what a surprise... they fit in perfectly! Out of everyone Francis went on stage and stood on top of a chair and started dancing! HAHAHA gay guys. They were in denial. They were scared that their bro's would find out that they went to a gay club and tease them. Our faces says it all.

uhhh okay.. two guys in the back LOL

Breaks. Man, I've never seen so many cute gay guys! haha, too bad.

We were chillin' outside then we randomly see Anna, Jamie, and a security walk out of the club. HAHA she got kicked out for being "too drunk" haha! There's the wall separatin us from her! but chooooo know, we never leave homies so we all jumped over the wall.. well me, kimmy, and Francis did.

Its chill because we had our own party outside of the club! We were everywhere hah!

We all decided to go home and I think it was about 2ish. Oh man buzzed. heels. eyes half opened. not so good. Thanks to Nat for taking care of me.. I couldn't walk straight by myself. Anna, Kimmy, and I were walking around saying hi to everyone that we pass by, and they were all so nice and gave us compliments! Got hit on by gay/bi-sexual guys yee! Mission accomplished. I was walking with Nat and there was this guy, not so sure if he was gay or bi but he stopped and said that I was really cute =] hah.

We stopped at a Taco stand by where we parked.

This creeper guy was talking to me lol ummm he was nice though. I kept saying how I loved my night and it was my first time at a gay club and that I would come back anytime! He told me I'm a "sweet beautiful girl, god bless you darling" lol um yeah and he kissed my hand!

Tad told me what happened when bi-sexual guy #1 passed by us with his boyfriend, I couldn't really remember. But when I heard, I started giggling. Tad asked the guy if he thinks Anna and I are pretty and he said "I'm bisexual and yes I think they are" poor boyfriend =/ lol Tad was telling us how awkward it was for the other guy. And to see bi-guy#1 kiss Anna on the lips! HAHAHAH HAPPY FCKING BIRTHDAY ANNA!

Headed home after with Kimmy, Anna, Nat, and Tad. It was a fun car ride. Drunken remix. Crazy videos. Random videos. Drunk videos. Anna throwing up. Kimmy "sweating" LOL. Hearing Tad sing, wow he has a nice voice! "Nat you should put alcohol in his drink so he'll sing more!" Non-sense talks. Trying to find a place to pee..fail. Knocked the fck out on the way back home. SOME FUN ASS MO'FCKIN NIGHT.

Happy Birthday Anna =] We love you, bitch.