"I didn't think you'd notice me."

I've been waiting for your call since the last time I actually talked to you or the last time I left you that voicemail. Finally, you called a few minutes ago. I'm honestly still in shocked right at this moment. There are so many things going through my head right now. Mixed feelings... I'm really happy to hear from you, surprised about the things you just told me a few minutes ago, bummed out because I'm looking back to things and how it was before, I'm relieved because finally I was able to tell you all those things that I have been keeping in for quite sometime now, I feel down because I'm thinking about what could have been, I feel dumb because I thought we could have been, I'm sad because it never turned out how I pictured it, thankful because you actually had the guts to talk to me about this.

Teary eyed. I appreciate the fact that you said sorry, thank you. I was hoping maybe someday I'd hear you say that... or not even just a sorry, but just something. I have so many questions, so many things I want to say, and so many things I want you to tell me.

I'm blanking out, but I keep thinking.
Sigh... I don't know if this is a sigh of relief or because I'm bummed out =/.

For you,

...I'll save this one when we talk. But.. as of now I want you to know that I still think you're a genuinely good person. I've missed you.

Just a quick update.

So much stuff has happened these past few months and maaaaaan its only March!

December09/January010

- Some shit happened with me and my best friend. It was not worth it at all. Thank God no one can ruin our friendship. Not you or you or you or you you you you. We know better than that. I know better than that, but I really am sorry still.

- Celebrated my bro's bday at Sactown

- Good shit here and there

February010

- CG midyear tryouts. I wasn't planning on trying out again, but I did last minute. I missed that feeling! I did it anyways even though it was a 50/50% chance of me going back on the team because of my mom. I got an interview and they asked me about my whole situation with my mom. Then some of CG's chords were willing to talk to my mom and so they came over my house but that shit did not work -_- Oh well, at least we tried.

- The week after that, Francis asked me again to be his date for TDB installs =) yep! It was fuuuunnnn and I'm glad I went!

March010

- Oh man I don't have much yet, but I can honestly say my march is so far... FUN =)

- Something new to keep me busy and a good way to meet new people. The ones I've meet are honestly fun to be with! We'll see how this goessssss.

New shit.

I need to update this. 

CG withdrawals

So it's hitting me more and more lately how bad I really wanna dance with CG again. Everytime I visit CG and UG it makes me miss it more, especially being around them at practice. I've always wanted to perform at Vibe and this year UG is performing too! I'm so proud of my babies! Reading CG heads' fb status or twitters about practices... Omg!!! I just wanna get out of my house and drive to the structure and dance with them. But see, it's not that easy.. It sucks when you're own mom is stopping you from doing something you love to do cus she thinks that you're not capable of handling school work and dance. But I've done it before... I could do it again. I need to figure out a way my mom will say yes about me dancing.

I miss my ground family a lot. I miss the people I like being around with. I miss doing something I love to do because it simply makes me happy, something I love to do for me.


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