Whatever it is.

I don't know what's wrong. How all of a sudden I feel heavy inside me... I hate this. I keep blanking out, I wish I can talk and let it out but I can't even explain how I'm feeling. This is so weird. I don't like it though. Whatever it is... I don't like it. I'm getting goosebumps too. Ahh this honestly doesn't feel good at all. Someone pin point what's wrong, because I can't. I'm trying to figure it out. But I seriously seriously don't know. It just hit me all of a sudden, it came out of nowhere. asdlkfjas;djf;asldgkjasdjfwiejf;askdjf sdjsmadvnsvnasfiejalsdjf!

I'm just gonna try and sleep, so I don't think about it. Whatever the fck it is.
It shouldn't be a big deal.


I'm done. Period. No more.

UG Photoshoot Day

Its been pretty crazy and a tiring week for me. After pulling off an all nighter because I lagged on my research paper for 4 weeks, working either morning shift or night shift, having to learn new choreos, casting, and blocking that same day for CG's new set, and to top that cherry.. I always wake up around 730ish to take my brother to school.. it seems like its never ending but then again I like being busy.. sometimes. Other than the fact that I haven't been getting enough rest this whole week, let's not forget about the good shit that happened to me last week =]


I had UG photoshoot today. One thing I love about being a girl is getting dolled up. I barely dress up, only on special occasions/events. So I woke up at around 630ish to get ready because our call time at Old Towne Orange was at 8am.. so damn early right?! Kimmy and I hella lagged so we didnt get there till 9ish. It was a nice place I must admit, it was pretty relaxing. While the others were getting their pictures taken.. we hella camera whored it with my camera.

everyone loves my camera =]

After everyone just decided to go to Tiffany's house. Met up with everyone at Yogurtland first, for free yay! hah. Then headed to Tiffany's house, eat eat eat eat. thats all I did. I munched on food here and there =[! I'm so taba face. Watched knocked up with everyone.. but I fell asleep! haha what's new? =/ I always sleep! ANYWHERE ANYTIME. I woke up feenin' for Boiling Crab, I was super hungry! hahaha so we left and ate at Boiling Crab. GOOOOD SHIT =]. Went to this nail store after and I painted Leo's nails because I wanted to see if the colors looked nice! hahah. Headed home with Kimmylove.. So when I got home my mom said we were going to go out to eat.. ummm -_- I was still full, but guess whaaaaaaaaaaat! I ate anyways =] hahahah FML. Oh well, food is good.

It was a really nice day.

I wish..

Wow I'm graduating in about a month. It amazes me how time passes by so quickly! I'm actually looking through my picture albums right at this moment and woooooooooooow, I miss those days. I wish I can walk with my friends from Western High School. I wish =[.. It makes me sad just thinking about it. I miss them.. I miss everything and how it used to be.

UG's practice last night was hell for me. I've never felt so tired to a point where I felt like my whole body was going to collapse on the floor. After cleaning, running through pieces and/or the whole set numerous times my body felt weak. It was the second to last full out run through for the night, I pushed myself for the team because I knew I wasn't the only who was exhausted, but looking at everyone.. I felt like I got it worse than anybody else. CG heads were watching too, so I didn't want to disappoint them. Piece after piece all I could think of was "Fuck its hard to breathe, it hurts. 5 more pieces, 4, 3, 2, 1" It was the end of Tuan's piece when I felt like I couldn't carry my whole body, the rest were walking to their spots...while on the otherhand, I was still sitting down.. I did not move, I couldn't. It felt like I was carrying something so heavy that I couldn't get up from where I was sitting. I tried so hard, I knew I had to pull through, so I pushed myself. I tried to go full out for our closer. It was hurting, I couldn't breathe. My eyes were getting watery, but I told myself I can't show anyone so I tried my best to hold it in. Finally it was done. "Take a break and we're going to do another last full out run through" I booked it down the stairs hoping no one saw me because I didn't want them to worry because I thought I was going to be fine. First set of stairs. Second.. my legs felt weak, it gave up on me. I started crying which made it worse. I tried to breathe but it was hurting even more..my legs, arms, I was cramping, my head was spinning, and especially my chest. It scared me. It really did. I couldn't calm myself down which made it worse. Thank God Andy and Karen came. All I could hear was, "Don't think about anything, don't stress", "Breathe Jena", "Calm down, just relax.", "Slowly" over and over again.

Quit. Eat healthy. Get more sleep.

It was a GOOD day

FRIDAY, May 8

Kimmy, Anh, Becky, and I went to the beach around 11 because it was so hot =[ Got to Newport Beach and it was windy and cloudy! We stayed for a bit, talked about random things, chilled.

Since it was too windy and a bit cold, we decided to go to Revolving Sushi because we were hungry and we started craving for it. MMmm yummy sushi! I swear I could eat it everyday aslfjsadfj =] I'm such a fat ass. After we went to Anh's house to hookah [btw, it was a cute pink one hehe]. I told them how Gina and I did something with a brown circle cardboard and soap to blow the smoke into it and make a bubble hahaha so we did that!

Chilled with them for a bit and then I picked my brother up from school and dropped him off at church for his community service. Went back home to grab my stuff for UG practice and Kimmy, Anh, and Randy picked me up. We went to Kimmy's house and tanned at her pool. I fell asleep while tanning so, fck my life.. my front side is a bit darker than my back! lol but my arms are still darker =[ lol Went to Dairy Queen and Jamba Juice and grabbed food before Kimmy and I go to practice. We were a little late for practice, but half of the team didn't show up =/ so we cleaned some pieces and just did run throughs. Ended practice early, around 7ish almost 8 so we all decided to chill at UCI center. Yay for yogurtland! I've had yogurtland 3 days in a row after practice! hehe yum =] Everyone was talking about random stuff and all I could remember was that we were all laughing so hard that some of us started tearing up! We were pretty loud heh. Kimmy, Aliyah, Adam, Camron, and I decided to go to VDC. I txted Tracie to see where they were at but she said she was at my work, so we thought that they didn't go to VDC, so we chilled outside for how many minutes watching UG's skit video and finally someone passed by and unlocked the door for us. Went inside and saw Tuan, Carl, Kim, and Andy. "Man, we should've called them" haha! Stayed for a bit, but since Kimmy and I were tired cus of the long day we had, we just decided to head home.

Got home and watched TV with my mom, I barely talked to her though. So while I was eating,I get a call from a random number and it was Karl, at around 11 almost 12am. I barely talked to him yesterday since his phone is not working. I thought he just wanted to say hi and what not, but he asked what I was doing. I told him that I'm just at home eating and watching TV. He was at Disneyland and he asked how to get here from Disneyland. My mood automatically changed, hah! I got excited but then at the same time it was late so I didn't want him to drive, mm got worried. But he told me it was fine. Gave him direcs and he told me to come outside in about 15 minutes since his phone is acting up. hmm 15 mins.. no Karl, I got worried that probably he got lost or something.. so I started walking around the parking lot and saw his car parked, I felt bad when I saw him because he was sleeping =/ got in his car and looked for parking, we chilled at the parking lot for a bit and then my mom called to tell me to come back since it was getting late. So, Karl and I just decided to chill at my house..said hi to my mom and watched TV hahah he was so nervous when he met my mom. How cute. Karl and I were watching Aeon Flux or however you spell it. Chilled and talked =]]]]]. He fell asleep here and there =[ lol aww poor Karl. It was really nice having him over, but I felt soooooo bad cus he was really tired from Thursday and then Disneyland. Haha he showed me a picture of me on his phone when I sleeping in his car while we were driving back to where I parked my car last Tuesday, when I went to visit him. Jerk! So I got him back and took a picture of him sleeping on my couch!

He was so shy hahahah! I've never really met someone who's so shy like how he is around me hahah =] It was around 2am, walked him to his car and chilled for a bit. We had a long nice conversation in his car. He didn't wanna leave, I didn't want him to leave, but we had so say goodnight. Stayed up to wait for his "I got home safely" call. Oh man it was a GOOD night. What a nice cute way to end my night =] Cute stuff though. Foreal =]

Thanks to Kimmy, Anh, Becky, Randy, and Karl for a great day =]